Having a chronic illness is almost like looking back on your life and what you would have done differently, but without being on your deathbed as you do so.
I’m sure many people would be surprised if they heard the one thing I would have done differently.
I would have gone on more rollercoasters. I wouldn’t have waited so long to try them after much coaxing and teasing by my father and brother. Yes, I would have been terrified, but I would have done it more often and sooner.
Now my body is on its own personal rollercoaster. But it never stops. It feels like I’m on one. But it never stops.
It jerks, drops, flips, twirls.
But it doesn’t stop.
And there is no adrenaline-filled euphoria after. There is no fun.
The rollercoaster keeps going and no one is pressing the switch and everyone has left the park, and you are going to go around and around forever.