Me: I’m feeling nothing, which is a shame because I thought I’d be feeling a lot of things during this process, either good or bad.  I feel like my emotion has been “snatched” from me by a well-intentioned alter, but I don’t get the good or the bad.

Therapist: Maybe try asking in the journal and saying that you think you deserve to feel something because you’ve worked hard to get this show.

Me: *writes polite request in alter communication journal*

no reply for days

Today…

Me: *composing email about what happens this week and during performance dates to the cast and crew, suddenly gasping for air and feeling like I am going to vomit or pass out and my hands are shaking and I feel like my body’s on fire*

Me: Well okay then, I understand now, thanks.

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About healandsurvive

27 years old with an Associates Degree in social sciences. Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, PTSD, OCD, anxiety. I also have been diagnosed with Vestibular Migraines and my everyday balance has taken a big hit, and I am basically off-balance and some level of dizzy 98% of the time. I enjoy painting, writing, acting, singing, reading, collaging, journaling; basically anything creative.
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