In my experience, there are 3 types of therapists I’ve encountered:
- The therapist (and possibly specialist in DID field) who wants to talk about trauma, PTSD, and especially DID. And nothing else. And if you try to tell them about other aspects of your life, they accuse you of deflecting simply because what you need or want to discuss doesn’t fall under the dissociative umbrella and therefore does not fit their agenda. When you no longer want to work with them, of course it’s just because you’re not ready to work on hard stuff. Totally has nothing to do with anything they might have done or not done.
- The therapist who actually asks you to teach them about DID after the initial contact where they made it sound like they at least had a decent grasp on things.
- The therapist who only asks about the most mundane things, most of which do not even pose a problem in your everyday life, and when you give them multiple opportunities to discuss anything other than something unimportant, they do not seize the opportunities that Therapist 1 would have jumped on.
So where is elusive Therapist 4? One that is flexible enough to tune in to various parts of life and not follow a strict syllabus of their own making and still knows what they are doing but admits they do not know everything, so they haven’t reached the level of thinking they’re a god.
I feel bad when a therapist is nice and all, but just seems like they have no idea what to do with you, and you can actually hear their brain scrambling for something to talk about while the crickets chirp and the tumbleweeds blow.
But if I continue to leave frustrated, then feel like it’s a chore to even go and end up sitting there, getting more annoyed…who is this really helping?
Of course, I’m not sure what I need out of therapy right now; I’ve been more stable than I have in years recently, and things on my plate are more “normal” now. I still do have work to do with the DID, I suppose. I think it’s time to sit down and really evaluate what I need and how often I need it. Needs change along with the times and your life circumstances. Some things are pointless to discuss at all. Some things no longer need to be discussed anymore. Some things still need some more digging. So…I’ll have to keep that in the back of my mind.