I hate that I can’t commit to any concrete plans with the physical symptoms I’ve got going on right now. I keep thinking people will view me as flaky, but when it comes down to it, it’s no fun for anyone (especially not me) if I start screaming and flailing and falling down at a public event.
Now, I have committed to my friend’s wedding and reception next month, and to me that is essential and I will be there come hell or high water – we were super tight in 8th grade and through the first few years of high school, and we still keep in touch. She’s a gem, and to still be friends with someone for that long with my track record? That’s a damn miracle. And she’s like…super easy to be lighthearted with about DID: for example, we joked about how I’m bringing 7 of me to her reception.
I made it to her bridal shower during one of the bad dizzy days even though it took me 4 hours to get ready in what would usually have taken me 1 1/2 hours. So yeah, I’m going to see her big day, you betcha.
But there are other social gatherings I feel I should be attending now that I’ve been selected to direct a musical in the fall (an opportunity I’ve been chasing since 2013)- then I remember not everyone who directs things shows up to see any other shows except their own, so I don’t feel as bad because I at least make a point to see as many of this group’s shows as I can even if I don’t know anyone in them, but I still feel kind of guilty.