I hate that I can’t commit to any concrete plans with the physical symptoms I’ve got going on right now.  I keep thinking people will view me as flaky, but when it comes down to it, it’s no fun for anyone (especially not me) if I start screaming and flailing and falling down at a public event.

Now, I have committed to my friend’s wedding and reception next month, and to me that is essential and I will be there come hell or high water – we were super tight in 8th grade and through the first few years of high school, and we still keep in touch.  She’s a gem, and to still be friends with someone for that long with my track record?  That’s a damn miracle.  And she’s like…super easy to be lighthearted with about DID: for example, we joked about how I’m bringing 7 of me to her reception.

I made it to her bridal shower during one of the bad dizzy days even though it took me 4 hours to get ready in what would usually have taken me 1 1/2 hours.  So yeah, I’m going to see her big day, you betcha.

But there are other social gatherings I feel I should be attending now that I’ve been selected to direct a musical in the fall (an opportunity I’ve been chasing since 2013)- then I remember not everyone who directs things shows up to see any other shows except their own, so I don’t feel as bad because I at least make a point to see as many of this group’s shows as I can even if I don’t know anyone in them, but I still feel kind of guilty.

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About healandsurvive

27 years old with an Associates Degree in social sciences. Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, PTSD, OCD, anxiety. I also have been diagnosed with Vestibular Migraines and my everyday balance has taken a big hit, and I am basically off-balance and some level of dizzy 98% of the time. I enjoy painting, writing, acting, singing, reading, collaging, journaling; basically anything creative.
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