It’s Been A Long Time

I have not posted on here since 2013.  A lot has happened since then.

  • This week makes 3 years with no psychiatric inpatient hospitalizations.  Sometimes that feels like a long time, and sometimes it seems short.
  • I have been in more community theatre productions – as an assistant director, a write/director of a 10 minute one-act, and acting in the rest.  Currently I am rehearsing for a show with this group in a dream role of mine.  It feels good to be back in the theatre arena after a six year hiatus (during which I was in and out of hospitals while trying to get my A.S. degree, which I finally did in 2013).
  • I had moved into an apartment close to my family in 2013, but last November after a series of events in the apartments in my building plus my own deteriorating mental health, I moved back home.
  • Last year, I was having a lot of symptoms that came out of the blue and were extremely frightening (unable to drive a car without forgetting how to breathe, unable to be a passenger in a car, barely able to step outside my apartment door, getting dizzy and ending up on the floor, having to take my phone everywhere with me, even the bathroom, in case I passed out, etc.)  All of this led to a consultation with a trauma and DID specialist who is the medical director of a inpatient unit, and he recommended a specialist therapist to me.
  • After my last meeting with my regular psychiatrist, who said he didn’t think I had DID because he’d never seen any other personalities (this man was so incompetent besides this that he wouldn’t have paid attention or noticed even if an alter had indeed shown up and introduced themselves as he seems to think must happen), I stopped seeing him, because how could he help me if he didn’t believe my experiences which have been validated by other professionals?  Also, why hadn’t he said anything about that in the 2 years I’d been seeing him?
  • My new therapist is a highly regarded professional in the trauma/DID field, and luckily he is also a psychiatrist, so all in one I get the medication and therapy with him.  It has not been smooth sailing, but he definitely knows what he is doing, and I need to not waste this opportunity I’ve been given that most individuals with DID wait forever to have.  It turns out I do not have Bipolar Disorder (I was diagnosed with that at age 13, and even after the DID was diagnosed in late 2007, no one ever stopped to question whether the Bipolar label still fit.  So now I’m struggling with all the useless treatments I went through in regards to a disorder it turns out I do not have, especially after I had resigned myself to that illness.)  So it’s PTSD, DID mainly.  No Bipolar.
  • Meanwhile, I turned 25 last year.
  • The driving is slowly improving, so I am cautiously optimistic about even being able to drive five minutes down the road.
  • I have become increasingly isolated, except for seeing my family, partially because I haven’t been able to drive for a year.

So before I can make any regular posts, I wanted to do a brief catch-up just to lay most of that out there.

I hope this finds anyone who reads this well, and I intend to begin using this site more.

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About healandsurvive

27 years old with an Associates Degree in social sciences. Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, PTSD, OCD, anxiety. I also have been diagnosed with Vestibular Migraines and my everyday balance has taken a big hit, and I am basically off-balance and some level of dizzy 98% of the time. I enjoy painting, writing, acting, singing, reading, collaging, journaling; basically anything creative.
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