Trying to Sleep

A regular sleep schedule is very important for individuals with mental illness, or at least that is what I was told for the Bipolar part of my mental illness.

I have not experienced a manic episode for a couple of years now.  There have been times when I could feel it mixing in, but it never escalated the way it used to.  So I’m back to MRE (most recent episode) Mixed.

That’s hard enough without adding Dissociative Identity Disorder to the mix.  I was ready to fall asleep tonight, but I could feel that pressing headache and could feel the wants of others – to needlessly re-fold clothes in drawers, or to rearrange and neaten the clothes hanging in my closet, though everything is already organized and categorized by color, clothing type, etc.  The same with my shoes.  All the hangers are facing the same way.  Nevertheless, someone wanted to do it.  Some organization of other things did get done, but they were necessary.  Were they necessary at 11:50 p.m.?  No.

And even if an alter takes over, my body is still not getting any rest.  I feel slightly co-conscious.  I keep forgetting what day it is, though.


About healandsurvive

27 years old with an Associates Degree in social sciences. Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, PTSD, OCD, anxiety. I also have been diagnosed with Vestibular Migraines and my everyday balance has taken a big hit, and I am basically off-balance and some level of dizzy 98% of the time. I enjoy painting, writing, acting, singing, reading, collaging, journaling; basically anything creative.
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2 Responses to Trying to Sleep

  1. Ashana M says:

    That is exactly how I feel–I’m not sleeping well these days either. And it’s always hard somehow to grasp that my difficulty with sleep is not usually about worry, like it seems to be for everyone else who has trouble sleeping. It’s about wanting to do things, and having to suppress that urge to move, to get up again. I am not bipolar, to the best of my knowledge, but what you describe is exactly why I have trouble sleeping. I keep telling myself those things aren’t my job right now. My job right now is to sleep, but I guess sleeping is just not as sexy as whatever I feel like doing instead. Thanks for that.

  2. Nice Post. Thanks for sharing.

    This week, relevant to your posts about bipolar disorder (BD), I had posted some insightful info and quotes associated with bipolar disorder. These posts were well appreciated by some of the readers. So thought I should share this info with you and readers of your blog, in case you may find it informative too.

    Thanks and Best Regards.

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